must love...

I'll skip the obvious.
I'll even assume you understand the small degree to which I write this tongue in cheek.

But there are definitely some things in men that make me happy to see. We've all got things on our list that are never fulfilled but come in handy for girl's night or weak fantasies 'as seen on TV'. They don't make or break, you know that, but if we're honest; they get us going and we don't know why. So enough disclaimer*, this is my useless wish list:

1. must drink as i do. maybe even smoke once in a while. If we must cut back, let's do it together and pretend we're bonding.

2. i'm a sucker any day of the week for moppy curls, sideburns too. Seth rogen a la freaks and geeks was my forlorn little poster boy for years. Then he got fat.

3. under no circumstances must you show alarm by what i say or do. This is, of course, the most demanding request, but it is beyond legendary when a man can absorb my eccentricities and then reflect them back to me thoughtfully or with utility.

4. a rockabilly look helps... a lot. If we break it down to the essential parts, we're looking for a white t-shirt, cuffed, dark wash jeans and tattoos.

5. the skills with the cooking. I won't let you pay for my meals, and i'm a cheap Pole, so I rarely see the inside of a shallow dish with artfully squirted sauce on the side. But if you cook up a dish that makes me feel fancy, my insides are doing more than just growling from hunger.

6. muscular thighs. They're delicious.

7. do us all a favor and be driven by something. Every woman looks for passion like men look for breasts. If you're going to be too busy for me, it's still a turn on if the energy is spent on something bigger and better for yourself.

*all requests subject to change. seth rogen could always lose the weight again.

Charlotte Read: from the Land of Talent & Unicorns

She must be from such a place afterall, no?

I do hate her just a little bit for softening my black, black heart with all her pretty colors though. Or no, wait, no that might just be jealousy.

yup, jealousy.

All of this work is her own, from her simple, yet impressive portfolio site.

WANT: asymmetry

I have an affinity for asymmetrical items. Aren't they effortlessly intriguing?

1. Normandy Clutch by Urban Heirlooms 2. Queen Street Jersey Dress by Carol Hannah
3. Leather Cuff by Holly Hawk 4. Three Leafs Necklace by Gosia

I also use an asymmetrical decision making process for daily life.
Coincidence? I think not.

wait, it's the 8th now?

sunny side up + hummus, tomato, & basil

The velocity of this 4th of July weekend was pretty high. And it did come in bursts like solid punches to the face. And I climbed a lot of stairs.

But mostly I cooked, ate and drank, ate and drank.

I want next year to be the exact same. You?

Not pictured: Apple cinnamon scones & the nachos for which the chili was intended. Both my camera...and myself...were 'dead' by the time I put together the nachos at the party. sorry mom.

so you just listen to it over and over or what?

My weekend has a theme song and I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE PREPARED FOR THE VELOCITY OF THIS SHIT.
don't let the hand script fool you.

eco-eatin'

You want a tip to save money on food? sure. we all do. awesome.
Go to your farmer's market and buy 3 zucchinis.
Make zucchini bread*.
Eat zucchini bread for many meals.









It apparently pairs with honey, beer, and vanilla ceylon well.
These are lies, but what do I know? I'm running on one food source here.


*I didn't take any of Heidi's lovely additions to heart, but I did add chili powder. Don't do that. It was wrong. I also added cardamon and that was good.

belated, but necessary.

Hey selfish dude from this winter, can’t you see there are people uncomfortably standing on the train because your tattered bag of animal heads and used condoms needs its own chair?

What? ...Oh, sorry. At first I didn't see the sign designating a separate seat for your unwieldy self-absorption.

In that case, DIE.

love,
laura

Threats work.

Even though my roommate and I are renters, we put on airs like we're fancy pants adults with a design plan for our place. For the most part, this has worked out and most projects were completed within the first 6-8 months. She painted. I hung things. It went smoothly like a greased pig in a small hallway.

Plans were made during that time period to decorate the mantelpiece. I was going to make these box/plant things and it was going to be fine. But now it's been over a year, and threats of her leaving have overtaken the gentle reminders for me to get started on my project.

SO I DID IT, OKAY?

The run-through is easy. I bought two planters in generic 'rustic' coloring from Home Depot ($35/ea) and painted them bright friggen white to match the fireplace.


Got some flower arrangement foam from Joann's ($10), hot glued that to the inside of the boxes, and then stuck a bunch of dry and fake plant bits in them from Home Goods ($25*) .


ta da.

p.s. that's no fire. that's a photo of fire, printed and cut out, and it was the best idea I've ever had.

*I don't remember at all how much that plant stuff cost. Totally made up.

gifting the food of the fancy

Single Malt Scotch Bars by BonBonBar in Los Angeles, CA

It might just be me, but I think fancy-type food products make acceptable gifts.

If you go to a party and the person in question didn't birth you then I think craft beer, weird flavored truffles, fancy tea blends and imported oils all make for down and dirty offerings to secure another six month's good relations. Food gifts aren't entirely 'thoughtful' but they do hover just above the 'itunes gift card' chasm of bad ideas.

Hazelnut Graham Crackers from Potter's Crackers in Madison, WI

Living in the city, I feel pressured to go beyond the 'around-the-world' aisle at Jewel and seek out boutique vegan shops, mom & pop bakeries and the like. Specialty places have all the cute, all the packaging and the character people are shelling their money out for. But I don't have a car, and I'd rather have all that specialness shipped straight to my desk.

Enter Foodzie. An online marketplace for "small passionate food producers and growers".

It's like Etsy for food and it's delicious.

Chai Spiced Blonde Blondie from Sugardaddy's Sumptuous Sweeties in Leweis Center, OH